“Self programming”… works?!?

I am one of those people that generally thinks “bs until proven otherwise” about many things. And this whole “self programming” concept used to be one of these things. I’m also one of those people that if not woken I would just keep sleeping until the middle of the evening, and yet, after lying in bed telling myself inside my head “I will wake up at 10 am. I will wake up at 10 am.
I will wake up at 10 am. I will wake up 5 hours from now” (I had fallen asleep around 1 am and woken up at 3:30 am and went to bed again around 4 am.) And hey what do you know, I fall asleep shortly after and defying my true nature and what I thought about “self programming” I wake up at 10:15 am. I’m thinking “I will make 1 million bucks with my blog” comes next :p.


Personal favorite poem.

So this is my personal favorite among all the poems I have written. I wrote this back when I was 15, and edited it today. The reason I posted about it again is just because I want more people to read it, that’s all there is to it.

Ramblings of an old man.

The old man lay upon the floor,
The young man stood at the door.
My son, The old man said,
The young man looked at him in dread.

I’m dying my friend, but I’ll be born again,
And I even though I might be insane,
A few lines I will speak nonetheless,
About the whole of this mess.

For those who may be bound,
I leave this wicked ground.
For those who fear in dread,
the terrors of the dead,
Its all a simple lie,
That it is bad to die.

For those who are left behind,
See the world as kind,
For those who left you will,
Live beyond here still.

Their thoughts will still be born, And useful things be bred.
Even though, they’re not in flesh, Ideas can still be spread.

For those who live here still,
Stay true in heart and will,
And face the hardest life,
With honesty or knife.

For the afterlife is the same.
And the violence there will still maim.
Whether you die in peace or in pain.
Whether you die sane or insane.

Poem – boredom.

Hmm finally managed to think up something to write a poem about, the writing itself always comes rather easily to me, after the first line that is, but finding something to write a poem about is a pain.


Boredom is a state of mind, an opinionated feeling
Nothing, rarely, dislike
To concentration it’s a spike
Boredom grows with time
Like a slowly doubling dime
Increasing restlessness sends your thoughts reeling.

Slowly it builds up like a pond, slowly ever slow
Anxiety, restlessness, impatience
Side effects, in a sense
The inner chemicals in a brawl
The amounts rising barely at a crawl
The inner winds of chaos slowly start to blow.

Escaping is fairly easy, something interesting to do
Writing, watching, playing
Entertainment rather swaying
The inner winds are calming down
In a sea of entertainment they drown
Boredom, anxiety and restlessness gone until born anew.

“Impossible”, a short story?

This will be my first attempt to write something in quite some time, so I decided to try to write something other than fantasy, something different, so anyway here we go. (Due to my imagination maybe it will end up as a fantasy story later on.) If you get offended by seeing someone swear two times in 1000 words you should not read this. 🙂


A bead of sweat formed slowly on the left eyebrow of a young brown haired man as he drew a deep breath. This had not happened before, never. Why is he here? he thought, trying to figure out some way out of the mess he was in. It was so easy he thought, oh so easy. So why not now? Why was he rendered unable to do it? Chemicals he said, it’s only a chemical reaction you idiot!

The brown haired man was standing in a rather small room, facing the man that he considered his best, and only, friend. The man he faced had been standing as close to perfectly still as humanly possible, but now he seemed to relax and walked slowly towards the brown haired man. It’s alright, the man said, I told her Ted, it’s alright, you haven’t done anything wrong. The brown haired man, Ted, looked incredulously at the man he was facing. You told who?

Ted asked, and forcibly stopped himself from scowling. Staring at the man in front of him, the man wore a green sweater with glaring red dots all over it. Thump! a wooden baseball bat impacted with the left side of Ted’s head with considerable force. Ted’s eyesight wavered, and as he fell sideways to the floor, the 9mm Glock flew out of his hands. Me said a voice, a woman’s voice. Impossible he whispered, barely audible, I shot you in the h.. The woman cut him off with a short laugh, Impossible? She asked, Hardly. You see, Ted Everything is possible.

Ted laughed, No, not everything. This is impossible, this is a dream, yes a nightmare, it must be so! Ted whispered fiercely as he moved his left hand slowly towards the knife in his left pocket. I’m crazy, oh so crazy. He thought and felt like laughing again because of the stupidity of the woman who did nothing to stop him. His hand was half way into his pocket when he noticed that the knife was elsewhere. The woman laughed her soft silent laugh yet again. Looking for this? Ted on the other hand was not even slightly amused, he turned over, onto his back and froze as he noticed his knife, a huge recently sharpened knife, was placed inches from his face.

“Beasts do not use weapons”, those are your words Ted. She said, “Not because it makes it difficult, no, because killing with their feet and hands and teeth feels better, so much better” I’m not a beast woman, I didn’t try to do this for enjoyment I was just bored. Ted said, and all amusement drained from her face, replaced by anger. “In a worst case scenario, make them lose their composure, and strike quickly after.” Ah, the joys of being a realistic man. He thought, although he had never imagined the “worst case scenario” as being outmaneuvered by a simple woman.

Of course, the reason I chose to target a woman, is because of they are such horrible hypocrites. They go on and on about how shallow men are, and yet given half a chance they would be ten times more shallow than the men they “hate” so much. They are weak, they get half disabled when pregnant, they’re not even smarter, besides if we do not kill say around half of them, over populating the world will become the largest threat to the world itself in all of our existence. Ted smiled of course, being the smart young man that he was ted did not think of women that way, no he only disliked most of them. If I can just keep talking for a little while I will get back my ability to move properly.

He thought, an abrupt movement made him focus on the woman again just in time to notice the weight of a full grown woman landing on top of him and a knife rushing down towards his throat, DAMN!, Am I really going to end like this? Me ending like this, there’s just no way, that’s impossible! He thought frantically, Don’t kill me! He said, just as the knife stopped dead, only having cut through the skin on the left side of his neck. No amusement was left on the woman’s face, only cold determination was left. Will you do what I tell you to Theodore Auswald? She said calmly, her blue eyes staring firmly into his green ones. Wait, how do you know my name? Ted said, eyes wide in surprise, he was sweating slightly as he tried to think of a possible escape route.

If you won’t, she said, trailing the knife down his torso, down to his belt. Then this thing goes first, she said touching his zipper with the tip of the knife. You men are so laughably useless, we don’t even need you to reproduce anymore, hah! Ted swallowed hard, You can’t do that, you’re a cop right? He said, trying to somehow move under her weight. And? Like I said, nothing is impossible, if I want I can have you saying that you did it yourself before we arrive at the station. She said in an amused tone, accompanied by a wide smirk. No, Ted thought and was well aware that he was losing his composure, there was nothing he could do to stop it given the choice he was just handed.

But, he thought, considering his situation trying to find an escape, seconds later, he realized what he had to do. Okay he whispered as if he was embarrassed. The woman raised her left eyebrow and said, Just remember what happens if you don’t. She placed the knife between her jeans and her belt and rose, You get up too. She said, Hah, what a stupid woman. She still faced him as he staggered up and as he rose himself to a crouch, he smashed the flat of his hand into her nose, placed his knee firmly in her stomach and gave her a blow to the right side of her head with his left hand, a combination that would have sent any regular human to the ground, but she just stood there, coughed once and said Do not hit me or kick me again, that’s an order. She said. I felt her nose brake, I hit the side of her head hard enough to knock out a grown man, and she coughs once? Ted thought and it was then that Ted noticed a small hole that went straight through her head, and realized only her hair had hidden it until now.

What the hell? Ted thought, and started backing away from the thing that looked like a woman….

Notes: Just to clearify, this is not the end. Lying in the bed and writing with the laptop on top of my stomach is in a way easier than sitting in a chair and typing, maybe the ideas originate from the pillow.

The I love boredom concept.

Yes, boredom. So what’s up with boredom anyway, people always say they’re bored when they have nothing to do, so doesn’t that make being bored the natural state of a human being? So why aren’t we satisfied with being bored, is it because of our thoughts, or our instincts?

Why is it not a pleasing thing to feel bored ? I’d say at least part of it is instinct as the fact that we actually managed to evolve this far comes from a lot of struggle and a whole lot of reproducing. But boredom of course does not only have one definition, for example there are many people that think certain activities are boring, or many kinds of activities like I do. Just imagine the good it could do if people started to perceive boredom positively, people would love their boring regular jobs and do them more effectively, people that already have jobs they like will strive to work effectively so they can get home and finally get that boredom they’ve waited for all day, even people that are depressed because they lives are dull and boring etc.. will get cheered up because boredom is so wonderful! Just imagine the wonders it could do for couples of the verge of breaking up because they bore each other, the world will turn into a wonderful place if we all start loving boredom!

On a serious note, I hate boredom and that is one of the reason I always put off going to sleep every day until I’m so tired I’ll just fall asleep instantly.